New Existence
by reg11
Summary: Bella wasn't so lucky with her encounter with Laurent. The wolves show up a minute too late and Laurent already has his teeth sunk into Bella's skin. The wolves kill him before he kills her, but the venom has already entered her system. She becomes a vampire and wants nothing more than to find the Cullen family, but they left her before so why would they want her now?
1. The Meadow

Disclaimer: The Twilight Series, and specific lines of this chapter, completely belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am in no means taking credit for her book.

* * *

Chapter 1

_I blink at my surroundings. I'm so confused. How did I end up here? I sure as hell didn't bring myself, because I would simply never do that to myself. I would never hurt myself in such a way. A way that could surly kill me. _

_I take a deep breath and look up at the Cullen house. The house I had one day hoped to call home. A place I had hoped to share with the family I thought I was a part of. A family that abandoned me. That didn't love me. At least not the way I loved them._

_I still don't understand. Why am I here? I don't even remember how I got here._

_My internal musing is suddenly cut off by the opening of the front door. I gasp and fight to hold back my tears. The first thing I see is his copper hair and then I slowly let myself take in his face and golden eyes._

"_Edward?", I choke out. _

I'm suddenly jostled from my dream by a feeling of unease. I blink at my surroundings, not admittedly recognizing them. All I know is that I'm not in my room, or even my house for that matter. It seems like all at once I take in the large trees and the colorful flowers surrounding me and realize I'm in the meadow. _Our_ meadow. It's the only piece of him I have left considering he took everything else. A clean break he called it. Yeah, well clean break my ass. I doubt there could have been anyway to make him leaving be a clean break. It's more like everything shattered, _including_ me.

As quickly as the relief of figuring out where I am floods through my body, its replaced by complete shock and fear.

I'm not alone.

About fifty feet away from where I lay, is a man. A man too still, too pale, too _unbelievably _beautiful to be your average human. Hell he's not a human at all.

I take notice of his red eyes. Eyes that are staring right at me. Eyes that are full of unmistakable hunger. It takes me only a second to realize that he didn't stop eating humans and adopt the Cullen's "vegetarian" diet like he told them he would. No, he definitely hasn't stopped taking pleasure from his human diet. A human diet that I am likely to become a part of if I don't play this carefully.

I stand up slowly and wipe my hands on my knees.

"Laurent", I address him with a fake smile plastered on my face.

* * *

I know this is long, but please read! It explains a lot!

Firstly I wanted to say that most chapters will be much long then this. I just wanted the first chapter to be short and sweet. give you guys a taste for the story, ya know? Secondly there's no need to tell me how many times this has been done before, believe me I know, I've read my fair share of Twilight fan-fiction myself, but for some reason the idea has just been rolling around in my head nonstop for the past few weeks so I figured anhh what the hell? Someone might enjoy reading it. So if you've read countless stories like this before and don't want to read another one then don't. It's as simple as that. I'm just a writer, like most on here, who needs some constructive criticism on my writing so that I can become better and hopefully have my own book out there someday. I will admit that reading reviews on my writing, good or bad, gets me excited about it and motivates me to write, but I'm not saying that a new chapter won't be up until I reach a certain amount of reviews or anything. I wouldn't do that. I also feel that I should tell you that I can't promise when a new chapter will be up. I'm a student and have a heavy workload this year and am sadly sick just about every other week thanks to my awesome immune system (sense the sarcasm?). I can promise you though that I take my writing seriously and I wouldn't let you guys read anything that I consider to be crap and I will try my hardest to get new chapters out to you guys about once a week, but I will reiterate that I just can't promise that because I do have to put school first. I can't believe I've been rambling on for this long, but this was just something I needed to tell you guys. I hope you like my story, but if you don't then I'm sorry it's not for you.

P.S. I'm in crucial need for a beta for this story and my other one "Could it Happen", so if any of you are interested or know anyone who might be could you please send my your 'beta profile' or whatever it's called and we could decide if we're a good fit? Thanks!


	2. The End

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight series and there are certain parts of this chapter that come directly out of _New Moon._ I am not taking credit for them, I have just tweaked them a little to better fit my story. _  
_

* * *

Chapter 2

"I can't say I expected to see you here, but I have to say it is a great surprise." Laurent says with a coy smile, all the while walking slowly toward me.

The way he's looking at me makes me want to run away as fast as I can but I know there would be no use in that. He could have his teeth sunk into my neck before I even completely turned around.

"Shouldn't _I_ be the one surprised to see _you_? I do live here after all and I was under the impression that you moved on. To Alaska was it?" I ask him while slowly angling myself so that he stays completely in front of me at all times. He may already have the upper hand, but I don't plan on going down without a fight, _even_ if a fight is useless.

"You're right," he agrees. "I did travel to Alaska, but I'm back now, temporarily of course. I did make a promise to your people not to hunt on their land and I can't say that I had intended to break that promise."

I swallow harshly and take an involuntary steep backwards. This does not go unnoticed by Laurent. A menacing smirk quickly takes over his face.

"When I saw that the Cullen house was empty," he continues, "I assumed that they had moved on, yes?"

I give him a curt nod. His smirk grows even bigger.

"Hmm, just as I expected." he muses. "What I don't understand though is why they left you behind. If I remember correctly - and lets face it, we both know I do - you seemed to be very . . . important to them. So why not take you with them?"

I take only a second to panic before I quickly spew out my lie. "People were starting to get suspicious of them, so they had to move on. And my dad wouldn't have taken it to lightly if I had run off with my boyfriend before I even finished high school, so I've stayed behind; well, at least until I've finished high school that is. They visit often though. That's actually why I'm out here today. Edward's supposed to be visiting. He should be getting here any minute now . . ." I say casually looking around, as if I'm expecting him to pop out from behind the trees. Saying his name, even now that I might very well be on the brink of death, still feels like a serrated edge against my unhealed wounds.

Laurent's smile falters slightly and his eyes shift quickly to the trees surrounding us, most likely trying to see or hear Edward approaching.

I send up a quick prayer that he doesn't call my bluff.

His eyes suddenly lock with mine and he once again gives me a devilish smirk. "Oh really?" he begins. "When I visited the house it smelled as if it'd been vacant for a while . . ."

I officially start to panic.

_Shit, shit , shit, shit, shit!, _I chant to myself. _Think, Bella_, think!

"So how's Victoria?" I ask, changing the subject and immediately regret it. It was the first thing that popped into my head, but bringing her up - someone who had previously tried to kill me - probably wasn't my brightest idea.

"She's good," he says hesitantly. "I actually came here as a favor to her." He sighs. "She won't be very happy that I killed you."

I freeze as the words slowly sink in.

_She won't be very happy that I killed you._

_She won't be very happy that I killed you._

_She won't be very happy that I killed you._

I knew from the beginning that this was how this encounter would most likely end for me, but actually having my thoughts confirmed . . . And the way he mentioned killing me so easily . . .

"She wanted to save that part for herself, you see," he continues. "She's sort of . . . put out with you, Bella. "

I have to swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat before I can speak again.

"Me?", I squeak.

He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. "I can't say that I exactly see her way of reasoning either, but I believe it's along the lines of Edward killed her mate so she wishes to kill his. Tit for tat, if you will.

"I believe she will be most upset to learn that you weren't even important enough to him to take with them. I doubt it will be the sweet revenge she imagined."

I fight to hold back the tears that so badly want to take over. Not because I'm practically on my death bed, but because knowing he doesn't want me is bad enough. But to here others voice it is ten times worse.

"He'll know it was you." I whisper, still not willing to give up. "He'll find you and dispose of you just as he did James."

He chuckles again and within a blink of an eye he's barley an inch away from my face. I'm immobilized with fear and can't even force myself to take a step back.

"Oh I think not, dear Bella." he breathes. "He must have taken into consideration that Victoria would come after you and yet he still left you here . . . unprotected, no less."

He slowly slides his fingertips over my cheek and down to my neck, where his eyes are now trained. "Don't worry," he whispers. "It will be quick. You won't even feel a thing."

_Edward, I love you. _

And the fear suddenly disappears because then all I can feel is the fire that can only mean one thing. He's sunken his teeth into me and I will be dead in a matter of seconds.

* * *

Please leave me some reviews guys! Hearing what you have to say about my story really does inspire me to write, no lie!


	3. The Torture

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight series and I am in no way, shape, or form taking credit for them.

* * *

Chapter 3

I expected the fire to stop in a matter of seconds and to then feel nothing. To never feel anything every again. The pain failed to ever cease though. If any thing it only got worse with every passing second.

I have a hard time thinking of anything other then the pain, but I try to calculate how long I've been laying here because I know I've been here longer then I should have if Laurent was going to drain me. I know this can only mean one thing. I'm becoming a vampire. It takes about three days to fully forgo the change though, and I can only hope that mine is almost over. It feels as if I've been laying here for years, but for all I know it could have only been minutes.

And there's nothing I can do to make the torture stop; I can only wait.

The next time anything other then the pain registers in my thoughts, is when the liquid fire running through my veins slowly starts to recede from my finger tips and toes. With each inch of my body the pain disappears from, my heart beats faster and faster. It feels as if it's trying to find a way to burst out of my chest, until the fire is only left in my throat and my heart gives its final beat.

I keep my eyes closed and my body completely still. I don't even take a breath, a sensation that feels slightly weird, but not completely wrong. My throat burns and I long to make it stop, but I don't want Laurent to know I've completed my change, even though I'm sure he's heard that my heart has stopped. I can only hope that he's gotten bored and is no longer paying attention to me.

I don't know why he didn't just kill me, but I have high doubts that he had a change of heart in the middle of drinking from me and decided to not kill me. The only thing I can think of is that he decided to honor Victoria and make sure I went through the ultimate torture - being changed into a vampire - before killing me.

He doesn't have as much of an upper hand now, though. We're closer to even grounds even if he is an older vampire. There is no way in hell I'm going down without a fight now. What do I've got to lose, right?

I make a split decision and jump up in what I assume is a blink of an eye. My instincts take over and I land in what feels like a natural pose; a crouch. A growl slips through my lips and surprises me.

It's not Laurent standing across from me though. I stare at the broken looking boy with tears running down his face.

"Jake?" I whisper.

* * *

Hey guys! I'm sorry it's such a short chapter, but I've had such a shitty past few weeks and I really wanted to get at least something out there for you guys. I can't do this often, but I'm gonna promise to have a new chapter out by the end of the week! I think it's time to clear a few things up for Bella! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think! Your reviews inspire me to write!


	4. The Reason

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight series and I am in no way, shape, or form taking credit for them.

* * *

Chapter 4

The most repulsive smell assaults me as I speak. I quickly hold my breath, as I'm sure a look of disgust contorts my face. It feels weird not breathing, but its not unbearable as it would have been before . . . when I was human. The thought feels weird rolling around it my mind.

I quickly take Jake in. His now short hair is sticking out in every which direction. He only wears a pair of red basketball sorts and a pair of running shoes. The last time I saw him was only about a week ago, but It seems like he's aged 5 years in that time. It looks as though he's grown at least 5 inches and he now has the body of a weightlifter that was nonexistent the last time I saw him. Mud smudges seem to cover the majority of his body. He looks as if he hasn't slept, nor taken a shower in days.

"Your eyes", he whispers. "Your beautiful brown eyes are gone."

_Shit! _I stand frozen in place. He's not supposed to know what I am. Maybe if I run, he'll think this was all just a dream. He can go back to La Push and I'll have just gone missing. There's no way I can go back. Everyone will know that something is wrong with me and no one would be safe with me around.

That's when it hits me. _Why didn't I immediately drain Jake? _ My throat still feels as if it has been lit on fire. Is part of my humanity still there, or did the horrible stench override the scent of his blood?

"If we had only gotten here a few seconds sooner." he continues. "A few goddamn seconds! You would still be alive. I could tell you about everything and we could go back to living our lives . . . together. Maybe I could have gotten you to fall for me in the end, I mean I know I'm no vampire, but we could have been good together. Gotten a little house on the reservation and started a family. You could have become a teacher or something down at the school and I could have opened a little mechanic shop. We could have been happy. We could have had everything we would have ever needed. We'd have each other. But no! We had to show up two goddamn seconds late and the life we could have had is ripped away from us!"

I desperately try to follow him, but only one part of his speech seems to be registering. He knows. He knows what the Cullens are. He knows what I am.

I look at the broken boy standing in front of me, a million questions running through my head. I watch the tears that seemed to have fallen faster and faster down his face with every word he said. I always knew that he had a crush on me. But thats all I every thought it was . . . a _crush. _I never knew he felt this strongly. Strong enough to plan out a life for us together.

I close my eyes tightly. How am I not dead? Where is Laurent? What does he mean they showed up a few seconds too late? Who showed up too late? Too late for what? How does Jake look so different in just a matter of days? And once again, how am I alive?!

I open my eyes and Jake seems to see all the questions in them for he continues explaining.

"You remember all the stories I told you about my ancestors?" I slightly nod my head. I sort of remember them, but they're kinda foggy. I could tell you the exact pattern, in precise detail, of the butterfly that flew past me 10 seconds ago though. The Cullens weren't lying when they talked about human memories becoming hazy after the change. "Turns out they weren't just legends", he continues. "Last week I changed for the first time. I changed into a wolf. I'm a shapeshifter. My purpose is to protect humans from the vampires . . . protect humans from _you. _Me and the rest of the pact were doing the regular run around the area when we could smell the vampire. We got here only seconds after he bit you. We pulled him off right away and killed him, but it was already too late. His venom had entered your system. The pack wanted to kill you, but I couldn't let that happen. I love you. I couldn't let them just kill you, so I convinced them to let me do it. Let me do it by myself."

"Jake . . .", I whisper and take a step back. His story is crazy and shouldn't even begin to make sense, but I have no other explanations.

I make a quick decision and run to the other side of the meadow, as far away from him as I can. I look him in the eyes, so he'll believe every word I'm about to say. "Jake, you're not going to kill me. You're not a murderer. I'm going to leave and I swear I will never come back. I also swear to you that I will never let a drop of human blood touch my lips. I'll only drink from animals. I'm not a murderer either, Jake. I need you to go home. I need you to make sure my dad and mom know how much I love them. Make up some story about my death. I honestly don't care what, but make sure they know I'm dead, even without my body. I don't want them to spend the rest of their lives looking for me. Make sure they find peace. . . And, Jake, I love you." I add as an afterthought. I may not love him the way he loves me, but I do love him, in a brotherly sort of way. I'm never going to see him again though, so he can take that however will be easiest for him.

I turn and run as fast as my feet can carry me, and I don't stop. I vow not to stop until I am as far away from here as I can get.

* * *

Hey guys! I know I promised an update for a few weeks ago, but my grandfather had been admitted into the hospital, so things have been a bit hectic around here lately. Lucky for you guys though, my area is going through a pretty bad hurricane, so I'm stuck at home and have had time to write! I know most of you are anxious for Edward to come into the story, but I am not exactly sure when that will happen, as I'm not exactly sure what direction this story is going in yet. I know the big picture, I just have to work out some of the finer details. It should be in the next few chapters though. I'm just as anxious to get there as I'm sure you guys are! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! And remember your reviews inspire me to write!


	5. The Meltdown

Disclaimer: The Twilight Series completely belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am in no means taking credit for her work.

* * *

Chapter 5

It turns out running as far away as I can isn't very far. My run soon turns to about the speed of a human runner and I start panting. My throat feels as if someone made me drink lighter fluid and then threw a lit match down my throat. I'm grateful that I am in the middle of the woods, away from civilization because I don't know if I would be able to stop my self if I came across the scent of a humans blood.

After what feels like hours after initially starting my run from Jacob, but what I know couldn't have been more then minutes, a scent hits me that makes the fire within my throat roar with thirst.

The next thing I remember I'm standing next to a lifeless, completely drained bear. I stare at it shocked and don't notice I'm backing up until I'm pressed so tightly against a tree I start to hear it crack. My breathing is sporadic as I try to calm myself down.

I did this? I don't remember how I ended up here, but the only sensible conclusion is that I killed the bear. I drained it of every drop of blood it had.

The animal inside of me was awoken with the scent of its blood and completely took over. I slowly sink to the ground as I let this realization sink in. I lost all control. The Cullens seemed to at least have some control when it came to the scent of blood. Hell, Carlisle was even a doctor and around human blood almost everyday and here I was unable to control myself with a simple bear. I let out a dark chuckle at the fucked-up-ness of this whole situation.

I notice my breathing start to quickly pick up again, and in the back of my mind I know that it's not from need of air because I simply don't even _need _air, but from the simple habit of having a panic attack.

How could they do this?! How could they let me get in this predicament? I can't be alone during these years of being a newborn! I was going to hurt someone. I need help. Someone to keep me in control. To keep me in my own head. I need _them_.

Without even thinking, I let my anger at them take over my body as I rip the tree I was previously leaning up against out of the ground and throw it with as much strength as I can muster in front of me. It quickly takes down everything in its path until it finally falls about a half mile away.

"Oh my god." I whisper to myself in shock. The anger quickly turns to fear and I fall to the ground once again. I wrap myself in as tight of a ball as I can and hold on for dear life. I close my eyes hoping that it will make all of this go away.

"You're in your room, Bella. You're asleep. Your alarm never went of this morning and you over slept, killing any plans you had for a hike to the meadow. Everything's fine. You didn't have a run in with Laurent. You're not a vampire. You're a human. You will die a human." I chant these words to myself over and over until I finally start to believe them. I start to calm down and I know that when I open my eyes I will feel the relief of being in my own home.

But when I open my eyes the relief never comes.

* * *

Hey everyone! I know its been practically forever since I last posted and I greatly apologize for that! Shit's just been crazy these last couple of months! I can't promise that I will be able to start a normal schedule for this story quite yet becasue exams are coming up at the end of January and they are basically going to be taking over my life until they are over from here on out. I am hoping to get a few chapters done now over the remainder of my winter break, though so hopeful I can stock up on a few chapters so I have something to get out to you guys during the month. I am still in desperate need of a beta so if anyone knowns of anyone looking for a writer please have them shoot me an e-mail! I hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year!

Your reviews inspire me!


	6. The Blood

Disclaimer: The Twilight Series, and specific lines of this chapter, completely belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am in no means taking credit for her book.

* * *

Chapter 6

I never expected this life for myself. I mean, don't get me wrong, if I'd been turned into a vampire a few months ago, I would have had everything I ever wanted. I _wanted_ this life. I wanted this life with _them_. This life without the Cullens, though . . . it wasn't fun.

Being turned and having no one to help you stay in control was the hardest part. For the first few weeks I killed any animal that came within a ten mile radius in seconds. I couldn't control myself. It was during those weeks that I stayed as close to the middle of the forest as I could. I was so far in that it was extremely unlikely for any hiker or camper to be even close to me. If I couldn't control myself around animals, I didn't even want to think about how I would be around humans. And killing a human was just _not_ an option. I would never forgive myself.

As I found myself finding more control around the animals, I let myself drift closer and closer to the edges of the forests. I didn't want to spend the rest of forever by myself. I wasn't looking for a family, or friends even, but I wanted to be able to interact with society. I couldn't spend the rest of my days in this forest having only trees, bears, and deer for company. I knew I could do it, too, even if it would take a while to build up my control.

About three months after my change, I ran into some campers. I came across their scent about two miles away from their campground. I didn't even notice I was running towards them until it was almost too late. I was only able to stop myself at the edge of their camp. I was lucky enough that it was night time and they were sleeping because I could only imagine how horrible I looked. I knew my clothes were almost completely ruined. My white shirt was ripped in at least twenty different spots and had blood and dirt caked into it. My pants were just as bad. I'm sure my, what I'm assuming are red eyes wouldn't have been a welcoming sight either.

I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself in my whole life as I was that night. It was then that I knew I could actually do this. I could actually be around humans without draining them.

It was after that night that I started training myself. I would have myself sit at the very edge of the forest, where the scent of human blood was the strongest I had ever encountered before. At first I would only start with an hour a day, as the pain in my throat was indescribable. After my hour of torture was up, I would have to run as fast as I could to find a bear or a deer. As time went on, though, I would sit there longer and longer, until I could sit there for the entire day, enduring the burn. It got to the point that the burn wasn't even at the forefront of my mind, just an inconvenience in the background.

I can't wait for the day when I am confident enough to actually walk into the city. I'm not completely positive which city it is, though. I know I am far away from Forks, but how far I'm not sure. I assume I am somewhere in Oregon because I am fairy sure I moved South.

My biggest concern now, is finding a way to get new clothes and cleaned up, so I won't draw any attention to myself when I am seen by civilization. I hate to admit it, but I also wouldn't object to a mirror so I can see my new reflection. Call it curiosity, or call it vainness, but I have high doubts I look much different from how I looked before I changed. The Cullens claimed that beauty came with the territory, but I had a hard time believing they were any less perfect before their change. I'm expecting to see plain ole Bella looking back a me when I finally get a chance to test my theory.

As I get lost in my thoughts on the way back to the edge of the forest, I almost do not notice the smell until I am already on top of it. The smell of spilt human blood and the smell of vampire.

As I round the corner I am met with a scene that makes my venom run cold. A vampire man, with his face buried up against a newborn, screaming baby.

* * *

"If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

So I'm not gonna lie, I almost gave up on this story. This quote, though, is what convinced me that I just couldn't. These past few months have been hard ones and I thought it would just be fairer to everyone for me to pull it. I didn't want to disappoint you guys when I failed to update. This quote, though, is what made me believe in writing again. I mean, damn guys, the reason I started this story in the first place was because I wanted to read it, but couldn't find anything like it anywhere! So the story shall stay and find it's ending. (and if I'm being completely honest, the story never lets me forget about it. New ideas for it are always popping to the forefront of my mind and I think I've found a plot line that I really love. Yay!)

I know I'm like kinda the worst person ever because of updating and I am so sorry! I take my exams this week, though, and after school is out I will have much more time to write! A more frequent updating schedule will be put in place, I swear!

Your reviews inspire me!


End file.
